It is said that we do not realize what we have got until we lose it. I believe it’s not completely true. Yes, when we lose something/someone very dear to us, we might feel a lot of pain, sometimes guilt even. But nothing lasts forever and when we finally get used to the pain, and when the guilty feeling starts to fade away, we do not realize that indeed in that moment, we have actually lost a valuable (but not a dear) friend too; the aftereffects of the earlier loss that gave us life lessons.
And then we start over oblivious of the fact that life would continue this cycle of giving and taking, that the environment would always be dynamic. Ye waqt bhi guzar jayega.
In the process of getting older and particularly ‘growing up’, we fail to realize that at some point, a reversal is taking place.
A nickname printed on the rear of someone’s car. A random thought. A point raised in a casual discussion. A photo with a familiar caption. A smile possessing similar features. A word’s syllable. Even my own nickname for goodness’ sake. Every little thing triggers memories so powerful that… that… I find myself stuck in the middle of a storm. But beautiful memories… but then again… they’re long gone and we have long become strangers.
At some point, we begin to contradict ourselves.
It feels good when you finally start to figure things out and and learn to differentiate between what’s permanent and what’s temporary. The temporary things, even if they mean the world to us, have a reason not to follow the same path as ours, or maybe there’s a reason we cannot follow the same path as theirs.
I like to believe that mental and emotional breakdown occurs when you are all at once fed with an amount of truth you weren’t trained to handle. Truth is not a dangerous thing but it must be allowed to work in the right flow. Any obstruction in its path can cause an overflow at later stages, leading to catastrophes a human mind has never known.
I’m not a fan of alienations. Regardless of all the disagreements with all the friends I have lost, in my heart I would always wish that they would come back someday with a smile on their face, for I have given everything to make them come back, so I can only wait and wait and wait and wait. Adamance will never let some people come back, and maybe someday I will hear of their death or they will hear of mine.
I’m tired of being told to take it easy. I am not going to take it easy till my last breath. If something’s not right, it must be fixed rather than be left alone.
Is it the empty glass,
Or the drunk up water –
That haunts me
Is it my own shadow,
Or an illustration of yours –
That stays with me.